I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in the middle of a makeover with a client and, when they would get a glimpse of their makeup in the mirror, a look of horror flashes across their face.
Either I’m in the middle of eyeshadow which means it’s not blended with *possibly* a little fallout present on the tops of their cheeks and no liner or lashes in sight…or, I’m going through the whole “war paint” spectacle that’s associated with highlighting and contouring so, there’s a concealer about three shades too light slathered all over various parts of their face. I’m not sure if you’ve seen this look on someone else or even on yourself, but it can absolutely look quite scary. I know that look all too well. Even if they’ve seen my work before and they’ve provided a picture of their desired look, I completely get how one’s confidence can dwindle when they get a peek of themselves and their makeup seems to be in disarray. Every time this happens, I look at my clients and reassure them, “I know it looks crazy at the moment, but just hang on until we’re finished. Just trust the process.” Needless to say, they relax into trusting me and my expertise and are ultimately overjoyed when they see the completed look rather than a nonsensical mess. So, why is it so easy to convince my clients to trust the process when I can’t seem to take my own advice?
Okay, pause. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m no longer using makeup application as a metaphor. I’m now referring to real life. Why is it so easy to tell other folks to trust the process, regardless of its context, and I can’t even do the same within my own situations? I know I can’t be the only one that feels this way. That always seem to be the case, though; sometimes, those that give the best advice tend to have the hardest time applying it to their own lives. I’ve been going through a bit of a transition in my career (hence the almost two year break from my blog—sorry). During this transition, I found myself at the proverbial fork in the road that required me to either take a leap of faith (this path can present itself as “illogical” to some) or the seemingly “easy” route (a.k.a. the logical one). I chose the leap of faith this time which is somewhat out of character for me. I’m surrounded by people who take leaps of faith like it’s second nature but, I’ve always hesitated. I’m the over thinker and I’m logical to a fault. I will overwhelm myself with a thousand “what ifs” and talk myself right out of an opportunity. It’s crippling. This is a character flaw that I’ve come to recognize, accept, and work to change. You see, the leap of faith can look quite menacing because it almost always involves making a decision where the risks seem terrifying although the rewards are potentially monumental. For a lot of people, including myself, the risks trick you into second-guessing whether it’s even worth it to take that chance even if you are sure that the rewards waiting on the other side of it are life changing. Fear of the unknown forces us to put a cap on our dreams, steering us towards the route where the risks seem less intimidating and we can play it safe. What I’ve come to learn through years of choosing the easy way out is that it’s not as easy as you think. Yeah, I avoid a fair amount of risks, but they are replaced with feelings of stagnancy, doubt, remorse, being unmotivated, and feeling like my dreams are slowly fading away. The only thing waiting at the end of this road is a bunch of wasted time and a heap of regret. So, if there’s trials no matter what choice you make, why not make the strife worth it?
Full transparency. Having faith is easy. Activating faith is an entirely different story. It is HARD! One thing I’ve learned about life is that struggle is inevitable. There is absolutely no way around it. The quicker we accept that notion, the quicker we can begin to make calculated decisions. Even still, we have to mentally prepare ourselves for the trials that are lying in front of us. And we have to accept that, sometimes, trials last a little bit longer than we’d like. I’m pretty sure that’s the main thing I’ve been fighting with. Things just haven’t been happening on my time. I let my guard down and allowed the exhilaration of taking that leap of faith give me a false sense of security as if everything would just flow from then on out. This couldn’t be further from the truth. From my perspective, things are actually moving at a snail’s pace. Needless to say, I’ve been frustrated. All I know is that I chose to take this leap of faith for a reason. I saw the bigger picture before I began this journey and I have to do what I can to keep that same energy.
The brutal truth is that you’re taking a gamble every time a decision is made that could alter your trajectory in life. Just because one path looks a little less intimidating than the other is not indicative of its true level of difficulty. No, things won’t always go your way. Yes, there will be many speed bumps, possible roadblocks, even a few detours. But no matter what, the goal should remain the same. You have to develop tunnel vision. Tune out the distractions as best as you can and keep moving forward. It doesn’t matter how fast you are moving just as long as you keep moving! Forward, of course. (I’m really preaching to myself right now). As my mama always tells me, “Don’t let the grass start growing underneath your feet.”
Now that I’m in the thralls of actively traveling the “leap of faith” path, I’ve come to realize that the real lesson is not the decision to leap: it’s the series of challenges that follow as a result of making the initial decision. For as long as we’re living, there will never truly be the end of any road. Before we accomplish one goal, I guarantee that we will have made another (or two or three). Our dreams and our goals are in constant evolution. And we have to be able to come to terms with the fact that nothing will be a cake walk.
In order to be in control of my thoughts and feelings throughout this process and be intentional about the energy I release into the universe (life and death are in the power of the tongue), I’m striving to change how I handle disappointments and just life in general. They say life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it. Seems pretty legit. For that reason, these are some of the things I’ve been doing and that I highly recommend incorporating into your routine to make sure you keep a little pep in your step:
- Keep a record of every single accomplishment and of the progressive steps you make throughout your journey—doesn’t matter how “small” you think it is.
- Make sure you have your goals written down as well. Whatever you desire, write it down and make it plain. Write it on slips of paper and put it in a jar or record it in a journal. Then, when you’re having a bad day, when you feel like what you’re doing is no longer worth it, pull out your notes with all of your goals and accomplishments and read what you wrote. Eventually, you'll see those things come to pass. And don't forget to give yourself some credit!
- Stick confirmations on your bathroom mirror so that you’ll be confronted with them multiple times a day. Don’t be too hard on yourself and don’t have your expectations so high that anything that falls short of that will knock the wind out of you.
- Feed your spirit DAILY with devotionals and anything else that’s motivational. Be sensitive to the energies that you allow to be in your presence. Any negativity can be detrimental to your state of mind and, ultimately, your success.
- Use idle time to do something that will contribute to your progress.
- Unplug every so often to prevent burnout. Do something that will put you at ease. Take a mini getaway. Turn off your phone and electronics. Go sit by the ocean (or any body of water) for a few hours. Relax and reset.
- Most importantly: slow down if you must, but NEVER GIVE UP!
There’s beauty in the struggle.