In such a filtered world, it can be difficult to navigate if there’s anything preventing us from being less than what “filtered” is supposed to be indicative of—perfection.
Being in the beauty industry for as *long* as I have, it’s been interesting to see how quickly things have evolved, especially when coupled with the evolution of social media and technology. With the touch of a button, you can alter everything that you don’t like about your physical appearance from the color of your eyes to the shape of your ankles…all with the right filter or some photo altering app. Seriously, it’s that ridiculously easy. What I never understood was, unless you’re completely isolated from the rest of the world, won’t the truth be exposed to everyone who knows you in real life? I heard someone say that we like to think real life and how we interact in cyberspace are mutually exclusive when they are not. Some tend to use the internet as a weapon as if they are protected by anonymity and consequence won’t seep into reality. Some tend to create the appearance of a perfect life. No matter how we choose to interact via cyberspace, it is an extension of who we are and what we do in our everyday lives. And we can rest assured that it will eventually affect our “real” lives. Still, that doesn’t seem to matter to a subgroup of people who will do everything in their power to convince the rest of us (and themselves) that everything is perfect through the world they’ve created on social media.
Then there’s the other side of the coin. What if you’re not a participant but merely a spectator as it pertains to how we interact with social media? You’ve guessed it. Most likely it’s still going to affect you. I’ve read numerous articles that have alluded to connections between social media and feelings of self/depression. I can absolutely see how that can be possible. Social media has a funny way of constantly reminding us of things that we haven’t accomplished or acquired. Even though, in the back of our minds, we may be cognizant of the fact that everything may not be as it seems. The point is, we see it, we lack whatever that is, and we long for it.
To be imperfect in a world that that so desperately tries to display perfection can be a challenge. Even if you yourself aren’t trying to be perfect, the environment will eventually influence you in some way. Think about it. Have you ever found yourself wanting to be thinner? More muscular? Have you wanted to acquire certain labels that you most likely didn’t care about years ago? Want a certain job title? I’ll be honest and say that my personal challenge has been suffering with acne and skin issues while being a makeup artist. Quite honestly, I’ve had problematic skin since I hit puberty. I’m human, so there’s the logical part of me that says acne is a reality that many of us must endure. But there’s the other side that whispers, “You call yourself a makeup artist? Look at how terrible your skin looks.” As illogical as that may seem, (because being a makeup artist and not having great skin are not mutually exclusive), I sometimes tell myself that my validity as a makeup artist is directly connected to how good my own skin and makeup look daily. If I can’t showcase my work or post a picture of my work on myself filter free and it still looks somewhat flawless, then that means my talent is diminished. Listen, we all have that inner voice that tells us lies every single day and lately, this is what mine has been saying.
Ever since the explosion of the YouTube and Instagram era, it’s very possible to see thousands of videos and photos of influencers and models showcasing flawlessness. I found myself wondering how their skin seems to always look like porcelain. What’s their skincare routine? How is their makeup blended so perfectly? The danger comes into play when the innocent inquiries turn into longing for the same looks and results. We must understand that there are so many variables at hand. I can do everything exactly as whatever person I’m admiring and still get different results because we are different people! Not to mention that there is a large amount of talented folks with amazing editing skills. Because of social media, we often become so easily immersed in worlds that seem so far from our own. The glitz and glamour that’s constantly on display chip away at any semblance of reality. Point blank, most of what we see is not an accurate depiction of reality. We forget that what we see is what they want us to see.
So, what do we do? How do we navigate in a seemingly perfect world and not be weighed down by harsh judgement and falsehoods? The only answer I can come up with is to live in your truth, whatever that may be. It’s to stand firm in it and understand that life will go on no matter which side of the coin you’re on. Each of us are uniquely made and nobody can do you like you can! Personally, I’m learning to embrace my imperfect skin while searching for solutions and know that a pimple or two (and hyper-pigmentation) is not tied to my performance as a makeup artist or my worth as an actual person. In this case, it’s essential I take the situation at face value (pun intended): I just don’t have clear skin. It is what it is. It may be part genetics and part environmental. Who knows at this point? I’ll just continue to do what I can to remedy the issue without allowing my self-esteem/self-worth to be reliant upon whether I do or don’t have flawless skin. Another thing we must do is shed the blame and guilt that we oftentimes attach to ourselves in connection to things outside of our control. It doesn’t matter how immaculate my skincare products are or how strict my diet is, how many times I detox (check out this detox that I did recently), or how much water I drink…I can’t will my skin to be great. I’m done stressing about something that shouldn’t really matter and that I have little control over. Not to mention, nothing else has changed except my skin. My knowledge of beauty and skincare and the application of said knowledge thus far in the field hasn’t been revoked or negatively impacted. If anything, my experience has been strengthened because of my recent acne flare up. I’ve had the opportunity to practice new techniques and explore products that would enhance one’s beauty without exacerbating this skin issue. Honestly, these are the types of real-life issues that will stretch those skills as an artist and ultimately take you to the next level. It would be completely unrealistic to think that every client to sit in your chair will have perfect skin. I’m grateful for the seemingly “difficult” clients I’ve had and for my own challenges. Those experiences have helped me grow in ways I otherwise couldn’t have.
Moral of the story:
Love yourselves no matter what. Forget what you see on social media and what the world thinks you should be. Again, nobody can do you like you can do you. Think of how boring things would be if everyone looked the same, acted the same, thought the same way. It’s perfectly okay to want to improve something about oneself but ditch the self-loathing. That won’t help you achieve any goals and it’ll cheat you out of living the happy life that you deserve. Most of the things we complain about, especially the superficial complaints, don’t even really matter. Anything purely physical is temporary anyway. The longer you keep living, the more physical attributes won’t matter. It’s really about who you are as person. Have you ever met someone who was physically stunning, but their attitude and personality was so off-putting that it made them less attractive? It’s quite tragic. Looks aside, we all need to be reminded that no one is infallible. NO ONE! Just keep living your life and work on yourself only if you want to, not because you feel pressure from the world to do so. Run your own race. It’s possible to improve yourself while loving yourself.
Now, go be great.